Sunday Sermonette: Air Pollution Warning

The Skeptics Annotated Bible introduction to Leviticus begins, "I wouldn't read Leviticus if I were you. No one else does." That's probably good advice, but we're committed to this project so off we go. One of the key reasons I'm doing this is to prove that people who claim that the Bible is the literal, inerrant word of God a) must have a very low opinion of God and b) don't pay any attention to 99% of what he says.

Leviticus begins with detailed, specific instructions for dismembering and burning animals. And that is a good percentage of the entire book, actually, along with several other categories of bizarre instructions. Orthodox Jews nowadays pay attention to an item here and there, as do fundamentalist Christians, but they ignore most of it.  To the extent that the Bible is foundational to any religious sect, Jewish or Christian, it is by selecting a few nuggets here and there and ignoring the rest. Here we go. God really loves the smell of burning flesh but I warn you, breathing the smoke is very bad for your health.

1 The Lord summoned Moses and spoke to him from the tent of meeting, saying: ² Speak to the people of Israel and say to them: When any of you bring an offering of livestock to the Lord, you shall bring your offering from the herd or from the flock.

³ If the offering is a burnt offering from the herd, you shall offer a male without blemish; you shall bring it to the entrance of the tent of meeting, for acceptance in your behalf before the Lord. ⁴ You shall lay your hand on the head of the burnt offering, and it shall be acceptable in your behalf as atonement for you. ⁵ The bull shall be slaughtered before the Lord; and Aaron’s sons the priests shall offer the blood, dashing the blood against all sides of the altar that is at the entrance of the tent of meeting. ⁶ The burnt offering shall be flayed and cut up into its parts. ⁷ The sons of the priest Aaron shall put fire on the altar and arrange wood on the fire. ⁸ Aaron’s sons the priests shall arrange the parts, with the head and the suet, on the wood that is on the fire on the altar; ⁹ but its entrails and its legs shall be washed with water. Then the priest shall turn the whole into smoke on the altar as a burnt offering, an offering by fire of pleasing odor to the Lord.
¹⁰ If your gift for a burnt offering is from the flock, from the sheep or goats, your offering shall be a male without blemish. ¹¹ It shall be slaughtered on the north side of the altar before the Lord, and Aaron’s sons the priests shall dash its blood against all sides of the altar. ¹² It shall be cut up into its parts, with its head and its suet, and the priest shall arrange them on the wood that is on the fire on the altar; ¹³ but the entrails and the legs shall be washed with water. Then the priest shall offer the whole and turn it into smoke on the altar; it is a burnt offering, an offering by fire of pleasing odor to the Lord.
¹⁴ If your offering to the Lord is a burnt offering of birds, you shall choose your offering from turtledoves or pigeons. ¹⁵ The priest shall bring it to the altar and wring off its head, and turn it into smoke on the altar; and its blood shall be drained out against the side of the altar. ¹⁶ He shall remove its crop with its contents^[a] and throw it at the east side of the altar, in the place for ashes. ¹⁷ He shall tear it open by its wings without severing it. Then the priest shall turn it into smoke on the altar, on the wood that is on the fire; it is a burnt offering, an offering by fire of pleasing odor to the Lord.

Footnotes:

1. Leviticus 1:16 Meaning of Heb uncertain