Map of life expectancy at birth from Global Education Project.

Sunday, July 04, 2021

Sunday Sermonette: He seems nice

Judges 8 concludes the story of Gideon. He never does leave any Bibles in hotel rooms, but he does a couple of other things in this chapter that would probably be embarrassing to the people who do leave Bibles in hotel rooms should they actually read it. One is just the usual sadistic psychopathy, which probably explains why God likes the guy -- they're kindred spirits. The other, however, seems to be a serious sacrilege, a clear violation of one of the most important commandments, yet it is presented as perfectly ordinary and acceptable. I'll comment at the appropriate places.


Now the Ephraimites asked Gideon, “Why have you treated us like this? Why didn’t you call us when you went to fight Midian?” And they challenged him vigorously.

But he answered them, “What have I accomplished compared to you? Aren’t the gleanings of Ephraim’s grapes better than the full grape harvest of Abiezer? God gave Oreb and Zeeb, the Midianite leaders, into your hands. What was I able to do compared to you?” At this, their resentment against him subsided.

Of course, it was God who ordered Gideon to limit his force to 300 men, but for some reason he doesn't bother to point this out.

Gideon and his three hundred men, exhausted yet keeping up the pursuit, came to the Jordan and crossed it. He said to the men of Sukkoth, “Give my troops some bread; they are worn out, and I am still pursuing Zebah and Zalmunna, the kings of Midian.”

But the officials of Sukkoth said, “Do you already have the hands of Zebah and Zalmunna in your possession? Why should we give bread to your troops?”

Then Gideon replied, “Just for that, when the Lord has given Zebah and Zalmunna into my hand, I will tear your flesh with desert thorns and briers.”

From there he went up to Peniel[a] and made the same request of them, but they answered as the men of Sukkoth had. So he said to the men of Peniel, “When I return in triumph, I will tear down this tower.”

10 Now Zebah and Zalmunna were in Karkor with a force of about fifteen thousand men, all that were left of the armies of the eastern peoples; a hundred and twenty thousand swordsmen had fallen. 11 Gideon went up by the route of the nomads east of Nobah and Jogbehah and attacked the unsuspecting army. 12 Zebah and Zalmunna, the two kings of Midian, fled, but he pursued them and captured them, routing their entire army.

Yep, it's 300 against 15,000, and Gideon wins easily.  Remember though, that the Midianites were already wiped out entirely in Numbers 31, so this is an astonishing resurrection.

13 Gideon son of Joash then returned from the battle by the Pass of Heres. 14 He caught a young man of Sukkoth and questioned him, and the young man wrote down for him the names of the seventy-seven officials of Sukkoth, the elders of the town. 15 Then Gideon came and said to the men of Sukkoth, “Here are Zebah and Zalmunna, about whom you taunted me by saying, ‘Do you already have the hands of Zebah and Zalmunna in your possession? Why should we give bread to your exhausted men?’” 16 He took the elders of the town and taught the men of Sukkoth a lesson by punishing them with desert thorns and briers. 17 He also pulled down the tower of Peniel and killed the men of the town.

I mean really, let bygones be bygones. 

18 Then he asked Zebah and Zalmunna, “What kind of men did you kill at Tabor?”

“Men like you,” they answered, “each one with the bearing of a prince.”

19 Gideon replied, “Those were my brothers, the sons of my own mother. As surely as the Lord lives, if you had spared their lives, I would not kill you.”

There is no other mention of Zebah and Zalmunna killing Gideon's brothers, this is the first time it's come up. 

20 Turning to Jether, his oldest son, he said, “Kill them!” But Jether did not draw his sword, because he was only a boy and was afraid.

21 Zebah and Zalmunna said, “Come, do it yourself. ‘As is the man, so is his strength.’” So Gideon stepped forward and killed them, and took the ornaments off their camels’ necks.

Gideon’s Ephod

22 The Israelites said to Gideon, “Rule over us—you, your son and your grandson—because you have saved us from the hand of Midian.”

23 But Gideon told them, “I will not rule over you, nor will my son rule over you. The Lord will rule over you.” 24 And he said, “I do have one request, that each of you give me an earring from your share of the plunder.” (It was the custom of the Ishmaelites to wear gold earrings.)

25 They answered, “We’ll be glad to give them.” So they spread out a garment, and each of them threw a ring from his plunder onto it. 26 The weight of the gold rings he asked for came to seventeen hundred shekels,[b] not counting the ornaments, the pendants and the purple garments worn by the kings of Midian or the chains that were on their camels’ necks. 27 Gideon made the gold into an ephod, which he placed in Ophrah, his town. All Israel prostituted themselves by worshiping it there, and it became a snare to Gideon and his family.

Okay, so Gideon made an idol of some sort out of 20 kilos of gold and the people worshipped it. Am I missing something here? By the way the word "ephod" is somewhat mysterious. In general it's a venerated object, but it refers to all sorts of different kinds of things. Originally, it's a priestly vestment, then a container of some kind, and now a golden idol.  You can find a discussion of this confusing usage here. See the section on "extended uses."

Gideon’s Death

28 Thus Midian was subdued before the Israelites and did not raise its head again. During Gideon’s lifetime, the land had peace forty years.

29 Jerub-Baal son of Joash went back home to live. 30 He had seventy sons of his own, for he had many wives. 31 His concubine, who lived in Shechem, also bore him a son, whom he named Abimelek. 32 Gideon son of Joash died at a good old age and was buried in the tomb of his father Joash in Ophrah of the Abiezrites.

33 No sooner had Gideon died than the Israelites again prostituted themselves to the Baals. They set up Baal-Berith as their god 34 and did not remember the Lord their God, who had rescued them from the hands of all their enemies on every side. 35 They also failed to show any loyalty to the family of Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon) in spite of all the good things he had done for them.

Groundhog day.

Footnotes

  1. Judges 8:8 Hebrew Penuel, a variant of Peniel; also in verses 9 and 17
  2. Judges 8:26 That is, about 43 pounds or about 20 kilograms

2 comments:

Don Quixote said...

Okay, let's just hold on here ... so Gideon and Jerub-Baal are the same person. Right, okay ... and he da man, many wives AND he needs a concubine? Now, also hold on ... near the end, the reading claims that he broke the Second Commandment by making the idol, and the "ephod" became a snare to him and to his family ... but then the reading says in the last part that "No sooner had Gideon died than the Israelites again prostituted themselves to the Baals." Excuse me, but WTF? He was allowed to make a golden idol for da peeple to worship, and decades go by this way, but somehow it's only after he's dead that they're prostituting themselves?

I call bullshit.

Cervantes said...

There's no doubt about it, this is a very weird story. I wish I understood the process by which material found its way into what is supposed to be the sacred text. Most of these stories are just nuts.