Map of life expectancy at birth from Global Education Project.

Monday, October 25, 2021

The Lone Star Republic

Update: Dear Dipshits:

 

Since you obviously cannot read, this post is about what would happen if Texas were to secede.  The current condition of the state is irrelevant. That is not what it is about. Learn how to think.

 

For quite a while now, there has been a movement for Texas to secede from the U.S. I think this is a great idea! There might be a few minor complications, however.


First, all of the U.S. military bases in Texas would immediately close. All of the moveable equipment would be trucked out, and all the personnel would leave. Too bad for local businesses. Since Texas would now need its own army, navy and air force, it might be able to use the bases, but it would have to buy all of the aircraft, ships, trucks, tanks and weapons. Texas would also need its own coast guard, of course, and it would need to patrol its own borders, with Mexico and with the U.S. -- and securing the borders with Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma and New Mexico would be quite an undertaking! Of course the Republic would have to raise the tax revenue to do all this.

Then they would need to execute trade agreements with the U.S., Mexico, and the world. Until that was done, no goods could enter or leave the republic. Whatever agreements were ultimately negotiated would likely include tariffs and various bureaucratic procedures and regulations that would make trade with the U.S., and the world, far more expensive. Texas could no longer import goods coming in through Pacific or Atlantic ports without paying additional duties at its own border. 

 

Texas students would not be able to study at U.S. colleges and universities without a visa, and vice versa. Texas universities and medical centers would no longer have access to NIH , NSF or PCORI funding which means that scientific research in the state would effectively end, and its universities would face financial collapse. NASA's Houston facility would close.

 

Everyone who currently lives in Texas and works in a neighboring state would lose their job. Federal funding for housing, highways, Medicare and Medicaid, education, SNAP, community health centers and other health care safety net programs, would end. The FBI would no longer investigate federal crimes in Texas, and the DEA would go away as well. The republic would need to negotiate on behalf of Social Security, SSI and SDI recipients but it's hard to imagine that the latter two categories would get a dime and it would be entirely up to the U.S. whether retirement benefits would continue.

 

The republic would no longer have the benefit of forecasts from the National Weather Service, information from the census or Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. patent protections and copyrights, the Agricultural Extension Service and agricultural subsidies and crop insurance, flood insurance, FEMA assistance, or the CDC. It would need to negotiate agreements for telecommunications and Internet access. I could, of course, go on.


One would expect a massive population exodus, but that's okay. Those are probably the very same people who are teaching critical race theory to third-graders, gay marrying, and making war on Christmas. So it's all good in the end.




2 comments:

Don Quixote said...

Bril, as the Brits say! And the best part of it all: the Texans who want to stay can finally be both free—and dumb!

mojrim said...

Wait. Wait.... Is there a crowd of twits (a trert?) arguing that Texas current situation invalidates the problems you mentioned? Please, giant meteor, kill us all now.