The Big Buffoona

The MSNBC evening yackers are obssessed with Chris Christie and Bridgeghazi. I can see why. They figure he's gonna be nailed like a sheet of 1/2" CDX*, so they're strapping on the tool belts and picking up the hammers because they want to be in on the pounding. What fun!

I expect they're right. Christie's story is utterly preposterous, even though his fawning acolytes in the corporate media are still granting him credibility. There are at least five or six people who as far as I can tell have no reason not to flip like pancakes, first and foremost Bridgette Kelly. He kicked her into the storm drain, by his own account without a word to her, and publicly denounced her as an idiot and a liar. Now she's unemployed and unemployable, divorced from an impecunious husband, according to the NYT profile, and what the hell does she owe to Christie at this point?

Then there's David "Wildthing" Wildstein. Christie says he barely knew the guy, because back in high school Christie was a BMOC and Wildthing was a nobody nerd who a popular jock like Christie wouldn't let sit down at the same lunch table. If it strikes you that there's something unattractive about a man who would say that, you might also note that the guy he said it about isn't going to exactly be grateful. Wildthing ostentatiously stapled his lips together at the legislative hearing on the affair, but he let it be known that if he gets immunity, he'll sing like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Christie is still full of bluster and braggadocio, and he doesn't seem to believe he's really going down. But I'll be very surprised if he doesn't.

*That's plywood used for sheathing houses. It gets an 8d nail every 8 inches on every stud. Studs are on 16" centers, so that works out to 64 nails for a 4' X 8' sheet. Plenty for everybody!