Explaining the Canvas Hack

If you regularly scan the news you already know that schools throughout the country -- colleges and universities, high schools, community colleges -- have been disrupted by hackers who attacked an application called Canvas. There is a lot the news stories don't explain, so let me do the reporters' job for them.

 

My university sent two emails about this overnight and this morning. One thing I know that you don't, if you've only read the corporate media stories, is that for about 30 minutes, students who tried to log in to Canvas were sent to a spoofed log in page that attempted to steal their passwords and other information. Presumably that happened to faculty who tried to log in as well. So that's one motive. The other is evidently that the hackers are trying to hold up the schools and/or the vendor for ransom. This is happening during final exams so it's obviously very disruptive.

 

Before I make my big point, let me explain that Canvas essentially replaces paper as the medium of communication between instructors and students. When I was teaching, I posted my syllabus, copies of my lecture slides, assignments, links to resources, and everything else I wanted to share with students on Canvas. I could message the class if I had anything new to tell them. Students, in turn, submitted their assignments to Canvas and the TAs marked them up and graded them on line. The grades were stored on line as well and the averages calculated automatically. In short, the slaughter of trees that normally accompanied a large lecture class was averted.

 

As far as I know, a few years ago, when I was teaching, the university owned the software and ran it on their own network. The information lived in the basement of a building on campus. But now, like a lot of software, it has migrated to the cloud. The university pays an annual licensing fee and the information lives who only knows where, possibly Albania. If Elon Musk gets his way (he won't), it will end up on the moon. That is why the hackers were able to attack every single user -- thousands of schools -- simultaneously.  And this is a big problem for all of us, because the same kind of attack will happen again. Oh yeah -- no doubt the contract the vendor signs with the schools says that the information will all stay private, but you probably shouldn't believe it. Every student's essays, exams, grades, communication with their instructors, all of that, belongs to a huge for-profit corporation that, if it doesn't misuse the information itself, is vulnerable to hacking as we have seen. 

 

Well, the same goes for your photoshop images, your Microsoft Office work, most of what you do with your computer or your phone. So keep that in mind.

Wednesday Bible Study: Going bananas for Jesus

Acts Two is the basis for Pentecostalism. In case you don't know, that is a Christian religious movement which consists of several different denominations and independent churches, that have in common belief in the inerrancy of the Bible, and direct personal experience of God which is manifested by "speaking in tongues," i.e. shouting gibberish while in a frenzied state. They also believe in faith healing and, of course, expect the apocalypse imminently but they've been disappointed in that respect for a couple of centuries now. Of course, 

 

If you're really interested here's the Wikipedia article. 

 

2 When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. ² Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. ³ They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. ⁴ All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues^[a] as the Spirit enabled them.

⁵ Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. ⁶ When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. ⁷ Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? ⁸ Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? ⁹ Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia,^{[b] 10} Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome ¹¹ (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” ¹² Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?”

¹³ Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.”

Peter Addresses the Crowd

¹⁴ Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. ¹⁵ These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! ¹⁶ No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:

¹⁷ “‘In the last days, God says,
    I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
    your young men will see visions,
    your old men will dream dreams.
¹⁸ Even on my servants, both men and women,
    I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
    and they will prophesy.
¹⁹ I will show wonders in the heavens above
    and signs on the earth below,
    blood and fire and billows of smoke.
²⁰ The sun will be turned to darkness
    and the moon to blood
    before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.
²¹ And everyone who calls
    on the name of the Lord will be saved.’^[c]

²² “Fellow Israelites, listen to this: Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miracles, wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. ²³ This man was handed over to you by God’s deliberate plan and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men,^[d] put him to death by nailing him to the cross. ²⁴ But God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. ²⁵ David said about him:

“‘I saw the Lord always before me.
    Because he is at my right hand,
    I will not be shaken.
²⁶ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest in hope,
²⁷ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
    you will not let your holy one see decay.
²⁸ You have made known to me the paths of life;
    you will fill me with joy in your presence.’^[e]

²⁹ “Fellow Israelites, I can tell you confidently that the patriarch David died and was buried, and his tomb is here to this day. ³⁰ But he was a prophet and knew that God had promised him on oath that he would place one of his descendants on his throne. ³¹ Seeing what was to come, he spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, that he was not abandoned to the realm of the dead, nor did his body see decay. ³² God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of it. ³³ Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear. ³⁴ For David did not ascend to heaven, and yet he said,

“‘The Lord said to my Lord:
    “Sit at my right hand
³⁵ until I make your enemies
    a footstool for your feet.”’^[f]

³⁶ “Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Messiah.”

³⁷ When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”

³⁸ Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. ³⁹ The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off—for all whom the Lord our God will call.”

⁴⁰ With many other words he warned them; and he pleaded with them, “Save yourselves from this corrupt generation.” ⁴¹ Those who accepted his message were baptized, and about three thousand were added to their number that day.

The Fellowship of the Believers

⁴² They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ⁴³ Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. ⁴⁴ All the believers were together and had everything in common. ⁴⁵ They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. ⁴⁶ Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, ⁴⁷ praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Footnotes

1. Acts 2:4 Or languages; also in verse 11
2. Acts 2:9 That is, the Roman province by that name
3. Acts 2:21 Joel 2:28-32
4. Acts 2:23 Or of those not having the law (that is, Gentiles)
5. Acts 2:28 Psalm 16:8-11 (see Septuagint)
6. Acts 2:35 Psalm 110:1

 

 

 

Sunday Sermonette: Bad historian

As I have discussed before, The Acts of the Apostles (usually just called Acts) is the second half of the document that begins with the Gospel of Luke. The early church authorities who canonized the New Testament decided to split it and put John in the middle, who knows why? Acts is usually dated to around 90 to 100 CE, which means, as with the other gospels, the author cannot in fact have been an eyewitness to the events it describes. Which makes sense, since they're impossible. The author is thought to have been an associate of Paul, since he eventually describes some of Paul's early actions, which is just further proof that his depiction of earlier events is fanciful.

 

Anyway, the first chapter contains (again as usual) a glaring contradiction, in this case with the Gospel of Luke. In Luke, Judas hangs himself prior to the crucifixion. Here, he buys a farm with the proceeds of his betrayal, and then, after the crucifixion, he falls down and his entrails fall out. Whatever. Once again, what Judas did in supposedly betraying Jesus was exactly what Jesus wanted and needed him to do. 

 

Note that heaven is purported to be an actual physical location in the sky. Turns out we've been up there, and there ain't no heaven. 

 

1 In my former book, Theophilus, I wrote about all that Jesus began to do and to teach ² until the day he was taken up to heaven, after giving instructions through the Holy Spirit to the apostles he had chosen. ³ After his suffering, he presented himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that he was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God. ⁴ On one occasion, while he was eating with them, he gave them this command: “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised, which you have heard me speak about. ⁵ For John baptized with^[a] water, but in a few days you will be baptized with^[b] the Holy Spirit.”

⁶ Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?”

⁷ He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

⁹ After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.

¹⁰ They were looking intently up into the sky as he was going, when suddenly two men dressed in white stood beside them. ¹¹ “Men of Galilee,” they said, “why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.”

Matthias Chosen to Replace Judas

¹² Then the apostles returned to Jerusalem from the hill called the Mount of Olives, a Sabbath day’s walk^[c] from the city. ¹³ When they arrived, they went upstairs to the room where they were staying. Those present were Peter, John, James and Andrew; Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew; James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James. ¹⁴ They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.

¹⁵ In those days Peter stood up among the believers (a group numbering about a hundred and twenty) ¹⁶ and said, “Brothers and sisters,^[d] the Scripture had to be fulfilled in which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus. ¹⁷ He was one of our number and shared in our ministry.”

¹⁸ (With the payment he received for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. ¹⁹ Everyone in Jerusalem heard about this, so they called that field in their language Akeldama, that is, Field of Blood.)

²⁰ “For,” said Peter, “it is written in the Book of Psalms:

“‘May his place be deserted;
    let there be no one to dwell in it,’^[e]

and,

“‘May another take his place of leadership.’^[f]

²¹ Therefore it is necessary to choose one of the men who have been with us the whole time the Lord Jesus was living among us, ²² beginning from John’s baptism to the time when Jesus was taken up from us. For one of these must become a witness with us of his resurrection.”

²³ So they nominated two men: Joseph called Barsabbas (also known as Justus) and Matthias. ²⁴ Then they prayed, “Lord, you know everyone’s heart. Show us which of these two you have chosen ²⁵ to take over this apostolic ministry, which Judas left to go where he belongs.” ²⁶ Then they cast lots, and the lot fell to Matthias; so he was added to the eleven apostles.

Footnotes

1. Acts 1:5 Or in
2. Acts 1:5 Or in
3. Acts 1:12 That is, about 5/8 mile or about 1 kilometer
4. Acts 1:16 The Greek word for brothers and sisters (adelphoi) refers here to believers, both men and women, as part of God’s family; also in 6:3; 11:29; 12:17; 16:40; 18:18, 27; 21:7, 17; 28:14, 15.
5. Acts 1:20 Psalm 69:25
6. Acts 1:20 Psalm 109:8

 

A mystery

Krugthulu (via email, so no link) shares the following chart and commentary:

 

 

 

A normal political party would respond to this problem by trying to solve it. OK, some blame-shifting — attributing rising prices to forces beyond the president’s control or insisting that current problems were caused by the previous administration’s policies — would also be par for the course.

But MAGA is trying to deal with its affordability crisis simply by denying reality. Over the past few days multiple prominent Republicans have gone on TV to insist that gas prices are falling. On Thursday Sen. Tim Scott said that “gas prices continue to come down,” while House Majority Leader Steve Scalise declared that gas is much cheaper than it was “two years ago,” when, he claimed, it was $6 a gallon. The average price then was actually $3.66.

And Pete Hegseth, the Defense secretary, told Congress that gas prices in California were $8 a gallon on the eve of the Iran war; the average was actually $4.64. . . .

So what’s the purpose of these MAGA lies? The answer, of course, is that they’re aimed at an audience of one. Voters know that gas prices are way up and that inflation is elevated, but Donald Trump, swaddled in his Mar-a-Lago bubble, doesn’t. Trump says that we have no inflation. He recently insisted that inflation was 5 percent at the end of Biden’s term and took credit for falling inflation before he took office. So Republicans determined to say whatever he wants to hear — which means everyone still in the party — feel obliged to praise his inflation record, the facts be damned. 

 

Right. In fact, the person occupying the office of President of the United States is a demented lunatic who is living in an alternate reality of delusional grandiosity. This is disconcerting because the situation is completely unpredictable. There's no telling what he'll do next -- maybe he'll suddenly remember about Greenland, who knows? He is surrounded by groveling sycophants and amoral cowards, which includes the entire Republican congressional delegation. 

The question is why? Why are all Republicans "determined to say what he wants to hear"? Is Lindsey Graham afraid that Vladimir Putin will reveal to the world that Graham is gay? Maybe, but that doesn't account for the rest of them. They could have been rid of him in 2020. They can get rid of him now -- all it would take is four Representatives and 18 senators. If they don't want to remove him from office, they can effectively neuter him. Is Putin really blackmailing all of them? I really want to know.

 

Thank God we're finally done with the gospels

John 21 is the last chapter of the last gospel. That it is completely ludicrous speaks for itself, but I'll point out that once again, starting in verse 21, Jesus says he will return during the lifetime of the listeners. (In this case, the author purports to have been the person addressed, but we know that's a lie. The book was written after CE 90. It's conceivable that someone who was an adult in CE 30 or so could still have been alive then, but why wait 60 years to write the book? The implication that Jesus was gay is also pretty hard to avoid.

 

Anyway, John ends without Jesus ascending into heaven, unlike the synoptic gospels. The writer says he did a whole lot of other things but he can't be bothered to tell us what they were. And that's the end of it.

 

21 Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Galilee.^[a] It happened this way: ² Simon Peter, Thomas (also known as Didymus^[b]), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. ³ “I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

⁴ Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

⁵ He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

⁶ He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

⁷ Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. ⁸ The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.^{[c] 9} When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

¹⁰ Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.” ¹¹ So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. ¹² Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. ¹³ Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. ¹⁴ This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

Jesus Reinstates Peter

¹⁵ When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”

“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”

¹⁶ Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”

¹⁷ The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”

Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. ¹⁸ Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” ¹⁹ Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

²⁰ Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) ²¹ When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

²² Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” ²³ Because of this, the rumor spread among the believers that this disciple would not die. But Jesus did not say that he would not die; he only said, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?”

²⁴ This is the disciple who testifies to these things and who wrote them down. We know that his testimony is true.

²⁵ Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

Footnotes

1. John 21:1 Greek Tiberias
2. John 21:2 Thomas (Aramaic) and Didymus (Greek) both mean twin.
3. John 21:8 Or about 90 meters

 

The White House Correspondents Dinner is an abomination . . . .

The event is perfectly emblematic of the rot at the heart of contemporary journalism, including both its practitioners and its corporate owners and executives. Here we have the people who are purportedly charged with telling us all the truth about people in power, dressing up in finery, eating $100 a plate dinners and drinking expensive champagne, hobnobbing and sharing yucks with those very same powerful people. The purpose is to confirm that they're all part of the same club, the same elite level of society, sharing common interests and a common relationship with the rabble who can only look on in envy.

 

I'll quote Paul Campos on this.  He isn't always right, but when he is he says it well:

 

It’s worth pausing for a moment to consider how utterly disgusting it is that purported journalists showed up for last night’s circus in the first place. Quite irrespective of whether the assassination attempt was real or not, this whole event was the kind of media event that has made Trump who he is, which is a president of the United States who is trying very hard to destroy liberal democracy. Showing up for this kind of thing at all makes you a collaborator in that project. And claiming that it’s your job — that you were just following orders as it were — doesn’t make it any better.  

And Albert Burneko: 

 

After the remaining guests—who'd assembled in their finery to fête and network with the authoritarians strip-mining American society, rolling back rights and civil liberties, and rounding up demonized minorities into literal concentration camps, and who will return unscathed to their stations of power over the rest of us tomorrow—milled around for a while, taking selfies and helping themselves to the abandoned bottles of expensive champagne left on tables, security personnel informed them that the evening's festivities would not resume and instructed them to leave. A little while later Trump spoke to the press, including CBS News White House correspondent and WHCA member Weijia Jiang, who'd been seated beside him at the dais during the dinner. The recipient of a $400 million luxury airliner gifted him by the royal family of Qatar, presently engaged in a scheme to sue his own Treasury Department into paying him $10 billion, boasted that, to the extent the fracas at the security checkpoint may have represented an attempt on his life, it attested to his historical importance.

"I hate to say I'm honored by that," he said, "but I've done a lot."

 

 

Sunday Sermonette: They still can't get their story straight

There are so many contradictions and discrepancies between John 20 and the other gospels that I'll just outsource it. (SAB uses the KJV, so there are some differences between what they discuss and what you'll see here.)

 

So I'll take the occasion to discuss current events. The Washington Hilton, where the recent aborted White House Correspondents' Dinner was held, happens to be the same hotel where Ronald Reagan was shot in March of 1981. It's several blocks north of Dupont Circle on Connecticut Avenue, and I just happened to be in my office just down the street from the hotel at the time. Suddenly there was a seemingly endless procession up Connecticut Ave. of blue Crown Victorias with blue lights magnetically attached to their roofs. It took about two minutes for word to come down the street that someone had tried to kill Reagan. I immediately called my parents to assure them that I had nothing to do with it.

I bring this up to remind us that people trying to kill presidents is a constant phenomenon. Usually they don't get as close as John Hinckley got to Reagan, which is why we don't hear much about them.  Hinckley was actually the best friend Reagan ever had. Reagan's popularity was in the toilet, but he suddenly got popular because, according to the ever-sycophantic corporate news media, he acted with "grace." (Osama Bin Laden was also the best friend George W. Bush ever had, BTW.) Note, however, that Hinckley had no political motive whatsoever: he was in a delusional state in which he believed that shooting Reagan would win him the affection of Jodie Foster. (Really.)

Similarly, the guy who knicked Trump's ear in July 2024 had no evident political motive. He had actually contemplated shooting Joe Biden, but he happened to get an opportunity when Trump went to Butler, Pennsylvania. He just wanted to make a name for himself. But he had the same effect as Hinckley: suddenly Trump was a lot more popular.  

Elizabeth Warren recently said that the American people aren't stupid. Sadly, that's one thing I can't agree with her about.

 

20 Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance. ² So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”

³ So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb. ⁴ Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first. ⁵ He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in. ⁶ Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb. He saw the strips of linen lying there, ⁷ as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus’ head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen. ⁸ Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside. He saw and believed. ⁹ (They still did not understand from Scripture that Jesus had to rise from the dead.) ¹⁰ Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene

¹¹ Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb ¹² and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

¹³ They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”

“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” ¹⁴ At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

¹⁵ He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?”

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”

¹⁶ Jesus said to her, “Mary.”

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”).

¹⁷ Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

¹⁸ Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!” And she told them that he had said these things to her.

Jesus Appears to His Disciples

¹⁹ On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁰ After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord.

²¹ Again Jesus said, “Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.” ²² And with that he breathed on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit. ²³ If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.”

Jesus Appears to Thomas

²⁴ Now Thomas (also known as Didymus^[a]), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. ²⁵ So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

²⁶ A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” ²⁷ Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

²⁸ Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

²⁹ Then Jesus told him, “Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

The Purpose of John’s Gospel

³⁰ Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book. ³¹ But these are written that you may believe^[b] that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Footnotes

1. John 20:24 Thomas (Aramaic) and Didymus (Greek) both mean twin.
2. John 20:31 Or may continue to believe

 

Wednesday Bible Study: They still can't get their stories straight

I haven't bothered to point out all of the innumerable contradictions among the gospels, but come on. The narratives of the two most important events in the Christian calendar -- the nativity and the crucifixion -- are irreconcilable. Remember that in Matthew, Mary and Joseph live in their own house in Bethlehem. Herod the Great is king. The Magi show up and unwittingly reveal to Herod that a king of the Jews has been born, whereupon Herod massacres all the boy babies and the family flees to Egypt. In Luke, they live in Nazareth but they have to go to Bethlehem for a (historically non-existent) tax. Herod is long dead, i.e. the date is six years later. There's no room in the inn so they stay in the stable. There are no magi, but there are shepherds. Then the family goes to Jerusalem to have the baby consecrated and they go home to Nazareth. No massacre of the innocents, no flight to Egypt.

This ought to bother Christians, but evidently it does not. Same with the crucifixion. It happens on different days -- the day before the seder in John, the day after in Mark. In Matthew, Mark and John Pilate's soldiers put the robe on Jesus, but in Luke, it was Herod's soldiers. In Matthew the robe was scarlet, but in John it's purple. In John Jesus carries his own cross, but in the other gospels it's carried by a guy named Simon. None of this actually happened anyway, but again, you might think it would bother Christians that they have to pick which version to believe. The best solution: don't believe any of it.

 

19 Then Pilate took Jesus and had him flogged. ² The soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head. They clothed him in a purple robe ³ and went up to him again and again, saying, “Hail, king of the Jews!” And they slapped him in the face.

⁴ Once more Pilate came out and said to the Jews gathered there, “Look, I am bringing him out to you to let you know that I find no basis for a charge against him.” ⁵ When Jesus came out wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe, Pilate said to them, “Here is the man!”

⁶ As soon as the chief priests and their officials saw him, they shouted, “Crucify! Crucify!”

But Pilate answered, “You take him and crucify him. As for me, I find no basis for a charge against him.”

⁷ The Jewish leaders insisted, “We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God.”

⁸ When Pilate heard this, he was even more afraid, ⁹ and he went back inside the palace. “Where do you come from?” he asked Jesus, but Jesus gave him no answer. ¹⁰ “Do you refuse to speak to me?” Pilate said. “Don’t you realize I have power either to free you or to crucify you?”

¹¹ Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin.”

¹² From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, “If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar.”

¹³ When Pilate heard this, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge’s seat at a place known as the Stone Pavement (which in Aramaic is Gabbatha). ¹⁴ It was the day of Preparation of the Passover; it was about noon.

“Here is your king,” Pilate said to the Jews.

¹⁵ But they shouted, “Take him away! Take him away! Crucify him!”

“Shall I crucify your king?” Pilate asked.

“We have no king but Caesar,” the chief priests answered.

¹⁶ Finally Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified.

The Crucifixion of Jesus

So the soldiers took charge of Jesus. ¹⁷ Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). ¹⁸ There they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.

¹⁹ Pilate had a notice prepared and fastened to the cross. It read: jesus of nazareth, the king of the jews. ²⁰ Many of the Jews read this sign, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and the sign was written in Aramaic, Latin and Greek. ²¹ The chief priests of the Jews protested to Pilate, “Do not write ‘The King of the Jews,’ but that this man claimed to be king of the Jews.”

²² Pilate answered, “What I have written, I have written.”

²³ When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. This garment was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom.

²⁴ “Let’s not tear it,” they said to one another. “Let’s decide by lot who will get it.”

This happened that the scripture might be fulfilled that said,

“They divided my clothes among them
    and cast lots for my garment.”^[a]

So this is what the soldiers did.

²⁵ Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. ²⁶ When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman,^[b] here is your son,” ²⁷ and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.

The Death of Jesus

²⁸ Later, knowing that everything had now been finished, and so that Scripture would be fulfilled, Jesus said, “I am thirsty.” ²⁹ A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus’ lips. ³⁰ When he had received the drink, Jesus said, “It is finished.” With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

³¹ Now it was the day of Preparation, and the next day was to be a special Sabbath. Because the Jewish leaders did not want the bodies left on the crosses during the Sabbath, they asked Pilate to have the legs broken and the bodies taken down. ³² The soldiers therefore came and broke the legs of the first man who had been crucified with Jesus, and then those of the other. ³³ But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. ³⁴ Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. ³⁵ The man who saw it has given testimony, and his testimony is true. He knows that he tells the truth, and he testifies so that you also may believe. ³⁶ These things happened so that the scripture would be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken,”^{[c] 37} and, as another scripture says, “They will look on the one they have pierced.”^[d]

The Burial of Jesus

³⁸ Later, Joseph of Arimathea asked Pilate for the body of Jesus. Now Joseph was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly because he feared the Jewish leaders. With Pilate’s permission, he came and took the body away. ³⁹ He was accompanied by Nicodemus, the man who earlier had visited Jesus at night. Nicodemus brought a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds.^{[e] 40} Taking Jesus’ body, the two of them wrapped it, with the spices, in strips of linen. This was in accordance with Jewish burial customs. ⁴¹ At the place where Jesus was crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had ever been laid. ⁴² Because it was the Jewish day of Preparation and since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

Footnotes

1. John 19:24 Psalm 22:18
2. John 19:26 The Greek for Woman does not denote any disrespect.
3. John 19:36 Exodus 12:46; Num. 9:12; Psalm 34:20
4. John 19:37 Zech. 12:10
5. John 19:39 Or about 34 kilograms

 

Putting us out of business

Academy Health is the scholarly association of health services researchers. That's what I am, and I have presented at many of their conferences. (I happen to specialize in communication, so I'm also a member of the Academy of Communication in Healthcare and I'm more active in that particular association.) Health services research is just what it sounds like -- studying ways of making health-related services more effective, accessible, and affordable.*

 

So Academy Health has issued a statement in response to Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Wacko's testimony before the House Ways and Means Committee. For some reason, they're trying to be conciliatory and they headline it with some mumbling about cautious optimism but there isn't actually any reason for that. You can read the whole thing and weep, but I'm just going to single out the piece that affects my colleagues most profoundly. It doesn't affect me very much because I'm semi-retired and I'm no longer actively seeking new funding, but it sure would if this had happened a few years ago.

 

The main source of funding for health services research in the U.S. is called the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, AHRQ. I'm just going to cut and paste the relevant Academy Health statement, which is not giving me reason for cautious optimism. Note that Kennedy blatantly lied, which I believe is called perjury. I'm sure the Department of Justice will be all over it.

 

AcademyHealth is also frustrated and disappointed to hear Secretary Kennedy’s response to Representative Don Beyer’s concern about the unlawful impoundments that have paralyzed the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality. Secretary Kennedy said: “Dr. Klein, who is running it, who is a Yale-educated physician, who is running AHRQ, still has hundreds of staff, and the agency is operating.” The question is not the credentials of the person at the top, but whether the agency has the grants management, contracting, and scientific staff to execute its statutory functions. It does not.

There are two false statements in his statement. First, it is widely reported that AHRQ does not have “hundreds of staff”, but rather over 85 percent of staff have been removed from the Agency, leaving well under 100 left. These removals have led to the complete and total collapse of the ability of the Agency to manage the extramural grantmaking program that Congress has required of it and that has saved countless lives across the country. That leads to the second false statement, which is that the Agency is operating in any meaningful sense of the word. That’s demonstrably false. Since September, the Agency has not released a single dollar of funding to hundreds of grants that it has already awarded, and has not issued a single new grant in over a year. These impoundments are so significant that the Government Accountability Office (GAO) is formally investigating the illegal impoundments breaking the Agency.

Just this past week, we submitted testimony to the House Appropriations Committee laying out the damage that has been done to the Agency and the critical urgency for Congress to ensure that its laws are executed faithfully. You can read it here.

 

 

* The most important way is simple to state: universal, comprehensive, single payer national health care. But that isn't going to happen any time soon. 

Sunday Sermonette: Can we get our stories straight?

The trial and crucifixion of Jesus is obviously the most important event in the gospels, but for some reason John's account is different in many ways from the accounts in the synoptic gospels. As I've said many times, there are so many discrepancies among the gospels that I don't bother to point them all out. But I will be somewhat more meticulous here because, as with the dueling and mutually exclusive nativity stories, it should be impossible for Christians to dismiss these as inconsequential.

In Matthew, Mark and Luke, Judas identified Jesus to the squad sent to arrest him by a kiss. They're all worded slightly differently but pretty much the same ides, e.g.  Mark: "And immediately, while he yet spake, cometh Judas, one of the twelve, and with him a great multitude with swords and staves, from the chief priests and the scribes and the elders. And he that betrayed him had given them a token, saying, Whomsoever I shall kiss, that same is he; take him, and lead him away safely. And as soon as he was come, he goeth straightway to him, and saith, Master, master; and kissed him." 

But that doesn't happen in John. Instead, as soon as the posse shows up, Jesus speaks up and identifies himself. There's no kiss.

In Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus is first taken away to Caiphas, he high priest. But in John, he is taken to Anas, the high priest's father in law. 

Peter denies knowing Jesus in all four gospels, but he denies it to different people. They aren't necessarily all contradictory -- some of them are vaguely described in some gospels. But in John, the denial to the high priest's servant, whose ear he had cut off, is unique.

In John, Jesus is crucified at noon on the day before the Passover. But in Matthew, he is crucified at mid-morning on the day after the Passover.

 

Finally, I'll just note that while all four gospels claim there was a custom of granting clemency to one prisoner at Passover, this was only added to the Gospel of John in later manuscripts. The story of Barabbas was not there originally. It is thought that this was added to reconcile John with the other gospels. In any case, there is no historical record of any such custom anywhere outside of the gospels. Most scholars believe it is an invention.

 

18 When he had finished praying, Jesus left with his disciples and crossed the Kidron Valley. On the other side there was a garden, and he and his disciples went into it.

² Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. ³ So Judas came to the garden, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and the Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons.

⁴ Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?”

⁵ “Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.

“I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) ⁶ When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.

⁷ Again he asked them, “Who is it you want?”

“Jesus of Nazareth,” they said.

⁸ Jesus answered, “I told you that I am he. If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” ⁹ This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me.”^[a]

¹⁰ Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s name was Malchus.)

¹¹ Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?”

¹² Then the detachment of soldiers with its commander and the Jewish officials arrested Jesus. They bound him ¹³ and brought him first to Annas, who was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, the high priest that year. ¹⁴ Caiaphas was the one who had advised the Jewish leaders that it would be good if one man died for the people.

Peter’s First Denial

¹⁵ Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus. Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest’s courtyard, ¹⁶ but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in.

¹⁷ “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter.

He replied, “I am not.”

¹⁸ It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm. Peter also was standing with them, warming himself.

The High Priest Questions Jesus

¹⁹ Meanwhile, the high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and his teaching.

²⁰ “I have spoken openly to the world,” Jesus replied. “I always taught in synagogues or at the temple, where all the Jews come together. I said nothing in secret. ²¹ Why question me? Ask those who heard me. Surely they know what I said.”

²² When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby slapped him in the face. “Is this the way you answer the high priest?” he demanded.

²³ “If I said something wrong,” Jesus replied, “testify as to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did you strike me?” ²⁴ Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.

Peter’s Second and Third Denials

²⁵ Meanwhile, Simon Peter was still standing there warming himself. So they asked him, “You aren’t one of his disciples too, are you?”

He denied it, saying, “I am not.”

²⁶ One of the high priest’s servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, challenged him, “Didn’t I see you with him in the garden?” ²⁷ Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow.

Jesus Before Pilate

²⁸ Then the Jewish leaders took Jesus from Caiaphas to the palace of the Roman governor. By now it was early morning, and to avoid ceremonial uncleanness they did not enter the palace, because they wanted to be able to eat the Passover. ²⁹ So Pilate came out to them and asked, “What charges are you bringing against this man?”

³⁰ “If he were not a criminal,” they replied, “we would not have handed him over to you.”

³¹ Pilate said, “Take him yourselves and judge him by your own law.”

“But we have no right to execute anyone,” they objected. ³² This took place to fulfill what Jesus had said about the kind of death he was going to die.

³³ Pilate then went back inside the palace, summoned Jesus and asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

³⁴ “Is that your own idea,” Jesus asked, “or did others talk to you about me?”

³⁵ “Am I a Jew?” Pilate replied. “Your own people and chief priests handed you over to me. What is it you have done?”

³⁶ Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

³⁷ “You are a king, then!” said Pilate.

Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

³⁸ “What is truth?” retorted Pilate. With this he went out again to the Jews gathered there and said, “I find no basis for a charge against him. ³⁹ But it is your custom for me to release to you one prisoner at the time of the Passover. Do you want me to release ‘the king of the Jews’?”

⁴⁰ They shouted back, “No, not him! Give us Barabbas!” Now Barabbas had taken part in an uprising.

Footnotes

1. John 18:9 John 6:39

 

Reality Bites Lunatic

So Dump has nominated a reasonably well qualified, non-insane person to be the new CDC Director. According to CNN, this was because people around the Dumpster concluded that appointing another lunatic would be politically disadvantageous. However, public health experts (count me in) are not convinced:

 

“She’s a good and well-qualified nominee, and  would be in any administration. However, the issue is not her qualifications — it’s the environment that she’s being asked to work in,” said Dr. Amesh Adalja, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security and spokesperson for the Infectious Diseases Society of America. “If this is supposed to be some kind of pivot away from what’s been going on for the last year, it will all be window dressing if RFK Jr. is still in place.”  

 

What got Dr. Erica Schwartz over the line to get the appointment may have been the drubbing Robert "Brainworm" Kennedy recently took from Democrats in a congressional oversight hearing. That was not a good look with the midterm election coming. It probably didn't help that it has recently been revealed that he once cut the penis off a road-killed raccoon.  

 

“I was standing in front of my parked car on I-684 cutting the penis out of a road killed raccoon, thinking about how weird some of my family members have turned out to be,” Kennedy wrote in [his] journal. He added: “My kids waited patiently in the car.”

 

I keep having to remind myself that I'm not hallucinating or dreaming, this demented lunatic really is the Secretary of Health and Human Services. Oh wait: that's a requirement to be a cabinet secretary.

 

 

Wednesday Bible Study: Jesus's prayers are not answered

John 17 consists of material unique to John. Apparently the other gospel writers weren't in on this particular occurrence. In any case, it just proves that prayer doesn't work, not even for the guy who is purportedly actually God.

 

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 

 

Sadly, no. Christianity consists of innumerable sects, with different and incompatible doctrines. In fact, Christians have gone to war with each other, and tortured each other to death, over their doctrinal differences. So evidently God did not send Jesus and does not love people. 

 

17 After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed:

“Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you. ² For you granted him authority over all people that he might give eternal life to all those you have given him. ³ Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. ⁴ I have brought you glory on earth by finishing the work you gave me to do. ⁵ And now, Father, glorify me in your presence with the glory I had with you before the world began.

Jesus Prays for His Disciples

⁶ “I have revealed you^[a] to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. ⁷ Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. ⁸ For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. ⁹ I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours. ¹⁰ All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. ¹¹ I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of^[b] your name, the name you gave me, so that they may be one as we are one. ¹² While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by^[c] that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

¹³ “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them. ¹⁴ I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. ¹⁵ My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. ¹⁶ They are not of the world, even as I am not of it. ¹⁷ Sanctify them by^[d] the truth; your word is truth. ¹⁸ As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. ¹⁹ For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified.

Jesus Prays for All Believers

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.

²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you^[e] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Footnotes

1. John 17:6 Greek your name
2. John 17:11 Or Father, keep them faithful to
3. John 17:12 Or kept them faithful to
4. John 17:17 Or them to live in accordance with
5. John 17:26 Greek your name