Never speak ill of the dead

Hi, I'm Randy Ooney.

Here's a random collection of banal objects. This is a box of cereal. Why can't cereal come in a canister? Who made that rule?

This is a roll of toilet paper. Who invented toilet paper, anyway? We know who invented the telephone and the light bulb, but what's more important? Was it Scott? I don't know.

These are double A batteries, and triple A batteries, and D batteries. What ever happened to B and C?

Somebody sent me this eyebrow trimmer. Who ever trims their eyebrows? I certainly don't.

For CBS News, this is Randy Ooney, good night. And why the heck is anybody sitting and watching this inanity? That's what I'd really like to know.