As New Englanders grimly contemplate a month or more of Gronklessness*, an even more horrific prospect appears on the horizon: that president Obama might remove John Kerry from the Senate to the Cabinet, whereupon Scott Brown will rise from the grave, compelled yet again to devour human brains.
Massachusetts law requires a special election to fill a Senate
vacancy. That's how Scott Brown became a senator in the first place.
Massachusetts Democrats don't have any compelling candidates to fill a
new vacancy. Just witness the ragtag band of Whotheheckareyous? who ran
against Elizabeth Warren in the primary.
But wait, it gets worse. Possibly corrupt and definitely irresponsible lieutenant governor Tim Murray is making noises about running. In a well-financed campaign, he would be a gigantic human target.
Did I say well-financed? A zombie Scott Brown candidacy will be the opportunity for the wounded and enraged financiers of the Romney debacle to recover a shred of their dignity, and there will be no competition for their money. Massachusetts will be carpeted a foot deep in cash. Blimps advertising Scott Brown will hover over every city square and village green. They won't just buy every commercial slot on radio and TV. They'll buy the TV stations and run 24 hour Scott Brown infomercials. They'll buy the Boston Globe, Worcester Telegraph and Gazette, and Berkshire Eagle, and rename them respectively the Boston, Worcester and Berkshire ScottBrownforSenate.
Brown has already proved he can win a bye-election, he already has an organization and enthusiastic, experienced volunteers. The Democrats had the candidate they wanted on November 6 and pretty even finances, and Brown still outpolled Obama by something like ten points and made it close until near the end. He'll get a sympathy vote this time around as well.
Mr. President, please, in the name of all that is good and decent, don't do it! Sen. Kerry, think of the children!
*For those who don't follow the game where steroid abusers in plastic armor beat the crap out of each other, that's New England Patriots superhuman tight end Rob Gronkowski, out of action with a broken arm.
But wait, it gets worse. Possibly corrupt and definitely irresponsible lieutenant governor Tim Murray is making noises about running. In a well-financed campaign, he would be a gigantic human target.
Did I say well-financed? A zombie Scott Brown candidacy will be the opportunity for the wounded and enraged financiers of the Romney debacle to recover a shred of their dignity, and there will be no competition for their money. Massachusetts will be carpeted a foot deep in cash. Blimps advertising Scott Brown will hover over every city square and village green. They won't just buy every commercial slot on radio and TV. They'll buy the TV stations and run 24 hour Scott Brown infomercials. They'll buy the Boston Globe, Worcester Telegraph and Gazette, and Berkshire Eagle, and rename them respectively the Boston, Worcester and Berkshire ScottBrownforSenate.
Brown has already proved he can win a bye-election, he already has an organization and enthusiastic, experienced volunteers. The Democrats had the candidate they wanted on November 6 and pretty even finances, and Brown still outpolled Obama by something like ten points and made it close until near the end. He'll get a sympathy vote this time around as well.
Mr. President, please, in the name of all that is good and decent, don't do it! Sen. Kerry, think of the children!
*For those who don't follow the game where steroid abusers in plastic armor beat the crap out of each other, that's New England Patriots superhuman tight end Rob Gronkowski, out of action with a broken arm.
3 comments:
also, john kerry? surely obama can do better.
yeah, but -- scott brown just had the chance to prove to the nation, nevermind his own state, that he is an industrial-grade jerk.
surely there is better talent in the state?
also, happy thanksgiving!
Massachusetts has had decades of one party rule by Democrats. For a long time, the Democratic establishment deliberately ran weak candidates for governor and didn't really support them, because they had veto-proof majorities in both houses of the legislature, run by tyrannical bosses. They didn't want any countervailing power in the governor's office. That's the explanation for Mitt Romney, by the way. So the party is really ossified. Elizabeth Warren is an outsider, not a politician. Finding someone with similar charisma in the state is tough.
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