Map of life expectancy at birth from Global Education Project.

Sunday, October 14, 2018

Sunday Sermonette: Family Values

This story is a weird combination of pre-scientific bullshit and moral depravity. It largely speaks for itself but then of course we have to ask why it is in the Bible.

25 After Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, “Send me on my way so I can go back to my own homeland. 26 Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way. You know how much work I’ve done for you.”
27 But Laban said to him, “If I have found favor in your eyes, please stay. I have learned by divination that the Lord has blessed me because of you.” 28 He added, “Name your wages, and I will pay them.”
29 Jacob said to him, “You know how I have worked for you and how your livestock has fared under my care. 30 The little you had before I came has increased greatly, and the Lord has blessed you wherever I have been. But now, when may I do something for my own household?”
31 “What shall I give you?” he asked.
“Don’t give me anything,” Jacob replied. “But if you will do this one thing for me, I will go on tending your flocks and watching over them: 32 Let me go through all your flocks today and remove from them every speckled or spotted sheep, every dark-colored lamb and every spotted or speckled goat. They will be my wages. 33 And my honesty will testify for me in the future, whenever you check on the wages you have paid me. Any goat in my possession that is not speckled or spotted, or any lamb that is not dark-colored, will be considered stolen.”
34 “Agreed,” said Laban. “Let it be as you have said.” 35 That same day he removed all the male goats that were streaked or spotted, and all the speckled or spotted female goats (all that had white on them) and all the dark-colored lambs, and he placed them in the care of his sons. 36 Then he put a three-day journey between himself and Jacob, while Jacob continued to tend the rest of Laban’s flocks.
37 Jacob, however, took fresh-cut branches from poplar, almond and plane trees and made white stripes on them by peeling the bark and exposing the white inner wood of the branches. 38 Then he placed the peeled branches in all the watering troughs, so that they would be directly in front of the flocks when they came to drink. When the flocks were in heat and came to drink, 39 they mated in front of the branches. And they bore young that were streaked or speckled or spotted. 40 Jacob set apart the young of the flock by themselves, but made the rest face the streaked and dark-colored animals that belonged to Laban. Thus he made separate flocks for himself and did not put them with Laban’s animals. 41 Whenever the stronger females were in heat, Jacob would place the branches in the troughs in front of the animals so they would mate near the branches, 42 but if the animals were weak, he would not place them there. So the weak animals went to Laban and the strong ones to Jacob. 43 In this way the man grew exceedingly prosperous and came to own large flocks, and female and male servants, and camels and donkeys.

So according to inerrant word of God, goats that mate in front of speckled branches will be speckled, streaked or spotted. According to biology, of course, and also what should be the simple observation of any goatherd who can find his head without a proctoscope, these characteristics are inherited and are not influenced by the presence of peeled branches. However, if we want to pretend that this would have worked, Jacob is scamming his father-in-law, which would seem to make his honesty testify against him after all. The "servants" he owns are of course slaves. Domesticated camels did not exist at the time and place he supposedly lived. 

One wonders what believers make of all this. Actually no, one doesn't. They are likely completely unaware of it. As I have said many times, the best argument against faith is to tell people to actually read the Bible. Very few believers have done so, they only know a few  selected passages and some stories, most of which they largely get wrong.


Mark said...

I once dated a girl who believed that the Bible is literally true. I started to point out a few contradictions, and she stopped me. She said she didn't really know anything about the Bible, she just believed it was true.

Don Quixote said...

LOL! I relate.