From the weirdness file

I should probably dig up my weirdness file and post a few bits from it. For now, here's a new one.

I am doing some minor research on workflows in primary care clinics. One of the sites we're looking at is affiliated with a hospital, which has various draconian policies regarding people who are going to be on site and potentially having patient contact. I was required to get a badge, which meant answering a ridiculous quiz, getting a TB test, and antibody titers for measles, mumps and chicken pox. Also passing a criminal background check. I finally got my badge, which has a photo on the front. Then the security guard responsible for embadgement assembled it with two attached cards. One listed the emergency codes. (This is standard hospital speak. For example, Code Amber is child abduction, Code Blue a medical emergency, and so on.)

The weirdness was the card in back. It's titled "Off-Sites Bomb threat Checklist." It's a little form you're supposed to fill out if you answer the phone. (Not sure what "off-sites" means, sorry.) At the top you fill in call-taker's name, date, time, and phone # where the call was received. Then it lists questions to ask and has little spaces for the answers ("Exact words if possible.")

Where is it located? Building? Area?
When will it go off?
Time________ Time remaining
What kind of bomb is it?
What does it look like?
Is there more than one bomb?
What will cause it to explode?
Did you place the bomb?
Why?
Where are you calling from?
What is your address?
What is your name?

Okaaaay. I'm sure most bomb threateners are more than happy to have that conversation and answer all your questions . . .